Designed for the understanding of confidence, what it is needed for, how it is expressed and its relation with success. Describes how to become self-confident
To achieve success, it is important to have desire, intelligence, intent, plan, resources, conditions, actions and a result. There are a few bottlenecks in this chain. But the most problematic - it is self-doubt that prevents the most important thing to be done - the first step.
Confidence – is a relationship, in which a system knows exactly its own response and reaction of the other systems under specific influence.
It is necessary for understanding the consequences that appear when you perform certain actions and upon influencing oneself or the environment.
Self-doubt – is lack of experience in producing useful influence, which can lead to an absolute standstill or cause harm.
To be confident - means to understand oneself, ones own abilities, to know that they are sufficient to overcome any obstacles and solve problems in achieving the set goal.
Self-confidence depends on certainty - the presence of true knowledge about the structure, features, condition, behavior, potential impacts and consequences of oneself or the environment that affect decision-making upon interaction and the achievement of the set goal.
Confidence and certainty reduce the risk of making wrong decisions that could deteriorate the state of the system, not producing useful results, or harming the environment.
The basis of self-confidence is positive self-appraisal of one’s own abilities and successes that would provide for achievement of even more useful goals and priorities. Self-appraisal gives an understanding of the importance and usefulness of human activities for himself and the environment.
Self-appraisal can be:
- Low: one feels an inferiority complex; the activity is much lower than the possible level; one is unable to be useful, despite the fact that he/she could be useful;
- Normal: one experiences self-respect; the activity coincides with the abilities; one brings maximum benefit for himself and the environment;
- Over-rated: confidence turns into overconfidence and haughtiness; the activity is much higher than the abilities possible; one is more likely to harm oneself or the environment.
For an adequate self-appraisal, one needs to know his own talent and destination. The more the activities are consistent with the talent and the more it brings benefit for the realization of the destination, closer is the self-appraisal to being normal.
When there is a positive experience in solving complex problems and successfully achieving useful goals, it not only improves self-confidence, but also courage to overcome fears and initiative to perform actions in an original, unconventional way.
The environment significantly affects self-confidence and self-appraisal. When other people, especially relatives and friends, support, cheer, say that everything will work out, a person with poor self-confidence starts to believe in it. He carefully takes his first steps and gets convinced of their correctness, gradually becoming more confident and bringing more good.
But when people, on the contrary, constantly say that a particular person is a loser, he does not know anything or is not capable of doing anything, even the most confident man begins to doubt in himself, begins to make mistakes, becomes anxious, experiences stress and depression.
Perhaps, they will be partially correct. But it only means that the current activity does not comply with the talent and destination. In such a situation, one must not be upset, feel disappointed in oneself and others, "put one’s hands down". It is very important to quickly change the environment and engage oneself in activities in other subject areas and in other specializations.
How to become self-confident
Confidence comes with personal development, as a result of learning about oneself, one’s own abilities and consequences of their own actions.
For this, a man must get to know himself, gain experience, and acquire skills and competencies, meet the needs, change attitude towards oneself to more positive and believe that by performing the right actions and achieving the right goals, one shall attain success for sure.
There are signs of self-confidence, which do not relate to man. However, quite a few of the signs can be controlled and managed. With the help of the following methods, one can develop self-confidence to the optimum level - self-respect.
Behavior and communication
It is easy to determine how self-confident a person is by observing his behavior and way of communicating. The main signs are posture, speech, gait, gestures, and direction of gaze...
It is easiest to determine the level of confidence by the gait. It can be slow, weary, aimless, or vice versa - an energetic and purposeful. A confident person usually moves faster than the rest. He has a goal, he wants to reach somewhere as quickly as possible, meet with someone, perform important work.
If while working, a person is not in a hurry, it usually means that he takes his work to be not important. And this significantly lowers self-confidence. In such a situation, it is necessary to increase the intensity of work. And if necessary, one must change his work itself in order to get more satisfaction from it.
To be confident, it is also important to make sure that the posture when walking is good. If the shoulders are drooped and movements are sluggish, it is a sign of lack of confidence. This means that the person is not passionate about what he does and does not feel himself important. By training a correct posture, one can immediately feel increased confidence. It is necessary to keep the back straight, head up, look in the eyes of the other person ... This makes a good impression on others and one feels a surge of strength.
Just as the behavior, the appearance also affects the gut feeling, self-respect and self-confidence.
It is not necessary to wear "fashionable, trendy" clothes. It is important that the wearer likes them, they are comfortable and tidy. As the saying goes, "the first impression is made from the clothes that one is wearing."
Man is not highlighted by his clothes, but rather by his actions. But a sloppy and disgusting appearance negatively affects the interaction with people. They will simply not come into contact, and will avoid such a person. To avoid such a situation, it is enough to wear clean, neat clothes, regularly take bath, shave, and brush teeth, use perfumes or colognes.
It is not necessary to spend a lot of money on your wardrobe. But one should adhere to the principle of "miser pays twice." It is better to spend two times more, but buying twice as less. That is, to acquire better quality clothing. In the long run it will help in saving more, since it will last much longer.
Analogous with clothing, if the physical form is not satisfactory, then one needs to engage himself in sports. This not only improves the physical appearance, but also energizes a person, trains the self-discipline of a man and creates positive mood for the whole day.
In group discussions, an unconfident person always sits on the sidelines, remains silent and pretends that he is listening to the others. And when he is asked something, he literally wakes up and says "I do not know, I must think." This is because of the fear of being seen as foolish and the lack of confidence in the correctness of one’s own opinions.
Perhaps, this fear is justified. But man cannot check it until he expresses his opinion and receives feedback from others. In case the fears get realized, and the person says something stupid, even then he must not get upset. One needs to understand what the correct answer was - to learn from his own mistakes.
It is important to understand that everyone experiences such a fear. When a person is not confident in his opinion, he must know that other people must have also not been confident sometime and that they would understand it. Conversely, when a man believes in himself and discusses something with an uncertain person, he must understand this and must not judge a useless statement in any case.
As the saying goes "everything comes with experience." The more a person will overcome his fear and express his opinion, more useful will these statements be for the final outcome of discussions. Try to speak at every possible opportunity.
Nothing affects self-respect as much as personal successes. One sets a goal, executes the plan to achieve it, gets the expected and useful result and increases his own self-confidence.
But as mentioned earlier, it is the lack of confidence that prevents a person from taking the first step in order to achieve success. Therefore, it is necessary to use a progressive approach.
First, one must try to achieve the smallest and most insignificant goals. One can ask for help from closer, loved ones, friends, relatives and colleagues. After successfully achieving the goal, one must raise the bar and set before oneself a more complex and useful goal. And step by step, he will begin to be more self-confident and start achieving the most ambitious goals.
Everything in the world has a reason. And self-confidence needs a reason as well. It is important to realize how an increase in self-confidence will change things. One can rise up the corporate ladder, plan family, and have more friends...
The reasons should be binding motifs in order to seek personal development and change one’s habits.
Without motivation, any action is doomed to fail. But if the motive is the desire to do something grand, great and useful, rather than the usual gratification, then the person is guaranteed to succeed.
The most important motive is the personal destination. It is necessary to determine the same, to believe in it, and continually strive to realize it.
Working on things you love or work, one should try to perform them as efficiently and better as possible. For this, one needs to acquire more experience in this subject area and use it to create something important, unique, and useful, both for oneself and others.
People will be grateful to the person and will voluntarily give him personal resources so that he brings even more benefit for them. This, in turn, will significantly enhance the person’s self-confidence.
In ancient China, any artisan, warrior, trader used to wake up every morning with a sole goal - to hone his skills and become more professional. With this goal, he performed all his affairs and tried to do everything as best as possible and faster. The one who achieved high skill received considerable privileges, he was visited by disciples, and he got particularly important and expensive orders from the emperor and the nobility.
An unconfident person focuses too much on himself and his own desires, and virtually does not help other people at all. This manifestation of selfishness makes it difficult to establish new relationships, enter into new relationships and generate additional resources for personal goals.
In order to become more successful and confident, one needs to stop regarding himself as the "center of the universe." It is necessary to pay attention to the world around and try to do as much good and useful things as possible for it. By helping people, a man not only receives the gratitude, but also increases his own self-respect.
One must not think of himself as a "store", which only takes resources from the environment and gives nothing in return. One must be like a "pump" which pumps and enhances all the streams that pass through it (the good, love, money, joy, experience, forgiveness ...).
One must use the law of conservation of energy in this context - the more you give, the more you get. This is one truth that any successful person would confirm.
In order to better understand the power of this method, one must learn the method Using the law of attraction.
The consequences of building self-confidence
Nothing is more important than taking the first step in order to achieve success. Only with the building of self-confidence, one gets the ability to overcome any fears and start acting.
On must find the "golden line" of self-appraisal – self-respect. This saves one from an inferiority complex, selfishness, overconfidence and haughtiness.
One starts to get more satisfaction from his work because it gives useful results for which he receives gratitude of others and their resources to achieve newer goals.
Many new friends appear, with whom, one can not only spend some pleasant time, but also productively, by organizing mutually beneficial cooperation with them to achieve goals.
All of this gives more links, resources and experience for the development of talent and realization of the destination.
It is most important to understand one thing - our world is too complex, and the capabilities of man are limited. Therefore, one cannot be 100% sure in something, maximum of 99%.
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